NOT in love with Gwyneth...

Sorry, Gwyneth. But today I rebelled. In more ways than one. It all started when I realized it was already 2:00 and I hadn’t even begun the marinade required for the “Detox Teriyaki Chicken.” The chicken needs to marinade for at least an hour, meaning that I wouldn’t be eating by 3:00, and since all I had eaten was the smoothie and coconut water (AND worked out), I was SO hungry.

Maybe it’s because I don’t have any other food in my house, OR maybe because this detox is working and all of a sudden I only want healthy foods (this is the theory I’m going to go with), but as I was making the marinade, the blueberries in my fridge looked so unbelievably appetizing. I’ve never wanted a blueberry more badly in my life. So I ate one….followed by three more handfuls. Now, according to Gwyneth, I’m not supposed to do this until Day Four. At the time, however, I was thinking “Screw you Gwyneth, what do you know about nutrition?” And really, what kind of diet is this if I can’t eat some blueberries, one of the top ten super foods? Does this make me a dirty cheater? Maybe...or it makes me an idiot to follow the nutritional advice of an actress.

I was starting to feel resentful. A couple of hours later, it was time to make the Miso Soup with Watercress. Have you ever used bonito flakes? I had no idea what they were, but as soon as I opened the package, my kitchen was flooded with a scent of almost-rotting fish. According to the package, “Bonito, a type of mackerel, is steamed and dried to wood-like hardness, then shaved into flakes.” I suppose it’s used for broths and soups, but I could hardly handle the smell. Again, this is when I again started hating Gwyneth, at least in my head.

The soup didn’t taste too bad, but it got me wondering if Gwyneth or any of these other celebrities who hail the miracles of detox actually cook the food themselves. They make the recipes and juices sounds so easy, but they all require quite a bit of preparation. Perhaps if this miso soup (which didn’t smell bad when I ate it) were served to me and I didn’t prepare it, I would have liked it more?

All I can say now, at the end of Day 2, is that I’m not sold on detoxing yet. I just feel hungry, tired, and anti-social since I can’t do anything that involves food. Oh, and my kitchen still smells like stinky mackerel….

This is the miso and watercress soup. I think I would have liked it more if it had more vegetables. Overall it tasted ok; I think the barley miso canceled out the mackerel.

The Detox Teriyaki Chicken was actually very good, and I will probably rotate it into my chicken recipes. The sauce is "detox-friendly" because it doesn't use sugar or soy, but instead relies on agave syrup, ginger, mirin, and balsamic vinegar.